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Levi x Reader :Much Much More: END

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Well, what now, right? What ever happened to the brave, fast, daring soldier? What had you become? Were you even alive? Oh, please, don’t be stupid! If you weren’t alive, why would there be another part to your amazing story? All jokes aside, what happened to you was not a joke at all. It was a tragedy, really. Where had we even left off?

            Oh, yeah! That was it; a terrible incident with a Titan. That stupid titan had gone and crushed your legs! Jean had saved you from falling to your imminent death and there you were, passed out in Levi’s arms as he begged you to stay awake. It hurt; it hurt way too much to try. It was frustrating, really, how much of a god damn let down you had been. But the fear had just become too much, and you succumbed to the numbness that was oh, so welcoming.

            You weren’t sure how long you were out, you really were not. It could have been hours, days, weeks, months. You weren’t sure, but what you were sure of was that you were alive. At least, you had a pretty good grasp of consciousness at least once you started waking up. You kept slipping in and out, and it was so, so frustrating, but there wasn’t much you could do about it. You were completely submissive to the peace it gave you. A sweet, dreamless sleep. But it had never left you feeling refreshed at all. Once you woke up you only felt more tired than you had before and just kind of passed out all over again.

            When you did finally wake up, you had managed to keep yourself that way. The sunlight was pretty inviting for the warmth, while the bright light hurt your eyes. It was a love/hate relationship with life, you supposed. Ugh, you felt numb. Absolutely and completely numb. You found yourself unable to move, just lying there in the uncomfortable mattress and thin blanket. It wasn’t the best, but it was good, and it could have been worse.

            You just kind of laid there, staring at the ceiling, trying to fully grasp what had happened. You didn’t know how long you were out, but that really didn’t matter, did it? You were alive. But was that what you really wanted? You weren’t all that sure, honestly. You felt lonely, that was for sure; the infirmary you were in was pretty darn empty. Not even the nurse was in sight. You sighed, letting your head hit the head rest in frustration.

            You wanted to go back to sleep, you really did. But you were scared that if you went back to sleep, you’d have the whole struggling to stay awake thing that had just happened, and now that you were awake, you wanted to cling to that consciousness as much as possible. It wasn’t really fair, was it? You were so tired, yet at the same time, itching to do something, anything. Preferably run. There was absolutely nothing to describe how free you felt when you ran. People said that you couldn’t run from your past, but damn, you were pretty good at it.

            You weren’t so sure how long you laid there in the white sheets, but the minutes felt like hours. You fought to stay awake, and you were happy that you did once you heard the wooden doors of the infirmary opening. You quickly turned your head to see who was visiting, and you were so happy to see that it was Levi. You instantly smiled, wanting to sit up, but you couldn’t. You just couldn’t move.

            Your smile didn’t waver when his face was the way it usually was; disinterested. But your bright smile did waver slightly once he revealed the flowers. Why would he be giving you flowers if you were okay? You watched him walk forward and take a seat in the chair that was set up beside the bed for visitors, and it was only then that you could see the sadness in his eyes. You woke up! What could possibly be wrong?

            He held the flowers out to you, and you took them gratefully, giving a small thanks and smile, tucking the beautiful white lilies next to you on the bed. Levi didn’t say much of anything. It was terrible; that horrible, horrible silence. That silence that left you so clueless. The silence that left you helpless and scared. And for once, you didn’t feel so safe around Levi.

            “Levi...” you whispered, your heart racing a mile a minute, “Why... Why did you bring me flowers? What’s wrong? Why are you looking at me like that?”

            Levi sighed just slightly, looking down for a moment as if in deep thought. Eventually, he took the flowers from the bed, placing them on the floor for the time being before gently taking you by the sides and helping you rest sitting against the headboard. Now sitting up, you actually felt a lot better, but it didn’t help the terrible anxiety you felt.

            You waited patiently, but minutes passed, and still, he said nothing. What was going on? Oh, you were so frustrated you wanted to cry. You were seriously considering guilt tripping him into telling you what was wrong, but it was kind of hard to guilt Levi. And even if you did, he’d never ever show it. You supposed that was what you really respected about Levi; his strength and his courage. He was everything you weren’t.

            “Levi!” you suddenly cried, the frustration absolutely infuriating, “What’s wrong?! Tell me, please! I’m fine, right?! Right?!” Levi didn’t really seem all too happy about your sudden little outburst, but slowly, he moved forward just slightly.

            You stiffened, seriously unsure what to think let alone do. You just watched, holding your breath as he grabbed onto the blanket that was over your legs, and slowly pulled it away. You were confused, just sort of staring at Levi for a few moments until finally; he motioned for you to look down. Oh, and then you understood. Your legs; your fucking legs.

            You were so scared to look. You were so, so terrified, but something had to be done, didn’t it? And the least you wanted was for Levi to be frustrated with you. You closed your (e/c) eyes, taking a deep breath, and slowly looked down and opened your eyes. The sight made you scream, fear and horror completely taking over your system as you burst into tears, unable to look any longer. They were gone. Your legs were gone up to your thighs.

            You couldn’t stop fucking crying, and Levi didn’t hesitate to comfort you, holding you close to his chest as you wet his jacket with your tears, but you couldn’t help it. The sight of the nubs where your legs used to be scared you senseless, and the absolute sadness that overwhelmed you was too much to handle. Your legs were gone!

            Oh, now what would you do? You were a useless soldier; useless to humanity. You couldn’t fight in the army anymore. You couldn’t help humanity win, and oh, god, you couldn’t run anymore. The thought of being unable to run absolutely ruined the little hope that you had that you were going to be okay, and you sobbed even harder into Levi’s jacket. You weren’t the fastest girl anymore, were you? You now were the coward who tried to hide and went and got her legs crushed, which were then amputated to stop further infection. Oh, god, it was horrible, so horrible.

            What would you become? Would they send you back home? What home, anyway? Your parents vanished, left you alone to die. Eren’s mother had died, his home destroyed, and his father was nowhere to be found. Oh, God, you had nothing to call home anymore. Nothing, nothing!

            You weren’t sure how much longer you had cried, but once you tired yourself out, you slowly pulled away to find Levi’s jacket and shirt completely soaked. You felt the guilt riding over you from crying so much and just being a burden, and you slowly moved back against the headboard, quickly bringing up the blanket so you wouldn’t have to look at your legs. Or, rather, what was left of them.

            The sadness had pretty quickly welted into anger and self-loathing, sniffling loudly as you gripped the blanket, staring straight ahead and trying your best not to cry again. It would be way too much and you’d wind up crying yourself to sleep. And you couldn’t do that in front of Levi, no, you just couldn’t.

            You glanced over to Levi for a moment, those gray eyes staring intensely back at you, filled with concern. Wow, really? Levi felt concern for you? The thought was enough to make you feel flattered, but at the moment, you were way too angry and upset to let yourself feel happy any time soon. It just wasn’t happening. You sniffled loudly, wiping at your runny nose and gnawing on your bottom lip, wanting to say something, but too scared to. Oh, what were you saying?

            “Hey, Levi...” you murmured, your voice hoarse from crying so much and so hard, “Remember... At graduation? When I didn’t make it to the top ten, and I ran into the gym sobbing my eyes out.” You paused, swallowing thickly and hanging your head, feeling the tears coming back at a full force. “And I- I called myself worthless and tiny and weak, and...” You felt like you couldn’t go on any further, but you felt that you had to or you’d just explode. “For once, I thought I could prove myself. For once, I thought that I could be worth something; that I could help out… But all I am is a weakling!”

            You then started to cry again, your sobs racking through your body. Levi gently moved forwards, wrapping his arms around you again. “Cadet—“

            “Don’t call me that!!” you suddenly screamed, shaking him off with what little strength you had. You didn’t have to force him away, however, since Levi complied without a struggle. “I’m not a Cadet anymore!!” you continued, unable to stop as your anger and rage against the shitty world you lived in flowed forth, “I’m not a fucking soldier anymore! I don’t have my legs, Levi? How can I possibly help humanity now?! I’m fucking worthless, Levi, I’m not a Cadet! So stop calling me that!!”

            There was silence as you continued to sob; hiding your face in your hands, not wanting to show Levi your weakness, but it pretty much seemed that any attempts to keep it all in were thwarted by your lack of control. It was a long time before Levi did anything, as if he were thinking through what to say. Well, he probably was, considering you were so emotionally unstable at the moment. It was seriously unhealthy, really. You were disgusted with yourself; absolutely disgusted. And it was your own fucking fault, wasn’t it? God, you hadn’t hated yourself more than you did then.

            “No, you’re not.” Levi said sternly, and you looked up, completely shocked, your sobs coming harder now. How could he say that?! Sure, it was what you had said exactly, but still, you wanted some more comfort, at least! You choked and hiccupped around your sobs as you held your face in your hands, just wanting to crawl in a hole and fucking die.  You were so tired, so tired of all of this.

            You felt hands on your own, gently pulling them away from your face. His larger hands held your tiny ones, keeping them so warm. It felt nice, actually, and you looked down at your hands that were in his, really, really not want to make any eye contact at all. You didn’t want to see the look in his eyes, most likely disapproving. You tried to keep your head down as much as possible, until you felt a hand at your chin, gently lifting it up so you would have to look at him.

            “You’re not a Cadet anymore. You’re not a soldier.” You sobbed harder, feeling your heart absolutely wrenching at the sudden cruelty in his words, but he continued, and you listened. “You’re not a Cadet; you’re right.” He paused, and connected his forehead to yours. “You’re much, much more.”

            His sudden words had you sobbing even harder, but not out of sadness. His sudden kindness had you crying into his chest, and you were thankful for the tight arms around your waist, holding you close. You held onto his button-down shirt for dear life, gripping onto the wetted fabric.

            You weren’t a Cadet. You weren’t a soldier. You’d never be a soldier. You’d never get to fight again. You’d never, ever get to run and feel free like you used to. But that was okay, you supposed. Because you had Levi there beside you, and you knew that the two of you were becoming something much, much more. 

The End.

it'S OVER
FOR REAL THIS TIME
ITS FINALLY OVER
yeeSSS

COMMENT QUESTION OF THE DAY:
what did you think of this series?? what did you really like, what did you not like? comment!! i'd love to know!

Word Count:2,179
Pages: 4

first: Levi x Reader :Much Much More: Chapter - 1
last: Levi x Reader :Much Much More: Chapter - 6

thank you for joining me on this journey <3
© 2014 - 2024 RInsertsForThePeople
Comments12
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NyanSekai's avatar
Thank you for such a nice story! :3
Oh, and you have some wrong links in next/prev ch =w=